During senior year of high school, I learned firsthand the problems of e-mail communication. One teacher who I thought had an ‘attitude problem’ sent an e-mail berating the yearbook staff for not showing up to meetings, wasting her time, and more than hinted that the students were irresponsible and self-centered individuals. The problem was that I wasn’t part of the yearbook staff – she had sent the e-mail to the entire student body.
I had never dealt with her directly, but after a year of watching her attitude affect the entire school, felt compelled to write an individual e-mail back explaining why I thought the e-mail was offensive. I didn’t attack her personally like she had the students, but rather felt like I was sticking up for the students she was publicly haranguing. Since I never heard back, I figured that she understood what I thought and the whole matter was settled. Several days later though, the dean asked me into her office asking “what the hell [I] had done this time.”
E-mail is a tricky thing since you can’t convey emotions, or even better, a person can interpret your words to the attitude they think you have. The dean knew me well and knew I had meant no personal attack, but the teacher had read the e-mail as a personal attack against her. Right or wrong was beyond the point – I was reminded that I should be more careful about what I write and if I had anything contentious to say, to do it in person. What was probably the best ‘real world’ advice I got in high school, I encourage everyone to take a few minutes and remind themselves about the do’s (and don’ts) of e-mailing in a school or professional environment.
Do:
- Make sure that e-mail is the best means of communication. Is the e-mail personal or raising anything that could even be seen as contentious? If yes, you shouldn’t be e-mailing.
- Get to the point right away. Don’t lead the reader through a long story to explain yourself before you get to your point. If believe you have to prove your point, then don’t e-mail.
- When asking a question, phrase the question so it’s clear you need a response. For example, “Can you explain to me why the client reacted so angrily when I couldn’t find the information?” is better than “What’s his problem?”
- Specify when you want a response. If it’s a pressing question, let them know if you need a response by today or else your email may fall into the bottom of the to-do list.
- When sending a general ‘for your information’ e-mail, summarize the topic at the top so they can better synthesize what your sharing.
Don’t:
- Make assumptions about the reader’s personal state. Just because you feel calm and in control of your emotions doesn’t mean they are. It’s very easy for an angry person to read an e-mail as angry toward them.
- Weigh an e-mail with multiple topics. If you’re sending large e-mails, what you’re asking or saying may get lost to the reader.
- Fill your e-mail with rhetorical questions. It may be easier to respond or convey your thoughts through rhetorical questions, but unless you clearly state what you think in a calm and emotionless manner via e-mail, anything can be misread.
