Whether you’re meeting your boss or networking for a potential job, most outside of work meetings will take place over a meal. Initially, networking over a meal may feel intimidating and full of easy ways to make mistakes. However, keeping these tips in mind can turn an awkward meal to a solid and engaging meeting.

Pick somewhere you know the food. Pick somewhere where you are familiar so you don’t sit at the table staring at the menu. Use that time to get comfortable, scan the menu and still be able to focus your attention on the other person. Also, pick somewhere where you know how long to wait for the food. Your conversation will feel rushed if the food appears right away or may become uncomfortable if the food takes too long.

Be on time or early. It will make you feel more comfortable. Especially when networking, the person is taking time out of their day to meet with you, and doesn’t want to be waiting around.

Be sure to eat. The other person will probably be hungry, and it’s never fun to eat in front of another person who is just sipping water. They will feel more comfortable eating if you are. Also, you both will feel more at ease with full stomachs.

Know who is paying. If you asked the contact out to eat, then you are paying. If they asked you, chances are they will be paying, but don’t presume. When the check comes, offer to pay, and if they refuse the offer, don’t push. Just act gracious and thank them.

If you’re not paying, don’t order the most expensive item. If your momma hasn’t already told you, never order the most expensive thing on the menu, especially when you don’t know the person well.

If you’re paying, be sure to offer an expensive menu option. I imagine every person has been told to never order the most expensive dish on the menu, and your contact will be no exception. By graciously recommending an expensive dish, they will feel comfortable ordering what they want. For example, when looking over the menus: “The veal is delicious here, I’m going to get that and encourage you to, as well, if it’s something you enjoy.” The person will be impressed.

Be patient and cordial to everyone, no matter the service. Your conversation may feel comfortable and lighthearted, but when you start complaining, their smile and laughs may turn forced. Also, for some reason, I always get really nervous when the waiter comes up to take orders – I never know who goes first! When the waiter comes up, wait and let the other person go first. Unless the waiter looks right at you and asks, don’t just blurt out your order.

Don’t keep ordering drinks. Don’t get more unless your host offers a second Coke. If you’re paying, encourage the person to order another drink if they wish.

Come up with a few things to talk about before getting to business. Any interesting articles you’ve read, lighthearted stories or intelligent questions you have will demonstrate you are an engaging person and help relax the conversation.

Networking or meeting with a boss outside of the office can feel intimidating, but with practice, will get easier. Good luck!

The following is a guest post by Come Recommended member Alan Evans.

Inspiration for this post comes from a great post by Rachel M. Esterline, a highly successful young woman and recent graduate of Central Michigan University. She expressed some of the same ideas and views that I have been pondering for some time now.

Of course, as we all know, it is said that we should pursue higher education in order to secure a fulfilling career. That’s’ true. But when it comes down to those individuals desiring to secure an entry-level position in a field they really enjoy but may not necessarily be educated in (i.e., a musician seeking to become a social media coordinator for an advertising agency or marketing firm), securing a position is ten times as hard than attaining a position you were educated to fulfill. It’s a result of the age old theory implying employers should select candidates who have pursued a formal education in the profession they desire to become a part of. Pish posh…

Now don’t get me wrong, there are professions in which a specific degree is an absolute necessity (i.e., medicine, law, etc.). There are also professions that don’t require you to have a specific degree (i.e., sports, entertainment, etc.). In order for individuals to succeed in a career in which they received no formal education, they must possess certain skills… Beyonce didn’t pursue a degree in music, but she is a talented singer. She possesses the skills that allowed her to become a successful entertainer.

The moral: A college degree is just a piece of paper.

It takes certain skills to succeed in a career. Here are some of the skills required to get your foot in the door of an entry-level career:

1. Hands-on experience: (This is a no-brainer.) To be considered for an entry-level position, you have to prove that you possess what it takes to succeed in the position you’re applying for. If you have some type of previous experience, great! If you don’t, inform the employer of the skills you’ve gained from other opportunities that you feel would benefit you in this position. Go out and gain some type of experience. Whether you volunteer for a nonprofit organization or provide assistance to an expert in the field, gain some type of experience for the job.

2. Be proactive: Being proactive simply means creating a situation by causing it to happen rather than responding to it after it has already happened (or simply waiting for it to happen). Plan before you act. Learn as much as you can about a particular industry or profession beforehand. Conduct research, ask for advice from industry experts, etc. Get creative. This would improve your marketability for the position.

3. Market your product (product = self): Share with an employer why you are the perfect candidate for the job. Jump on the desk and say that the company needs you (not literally)! But you should definitely market yourself. You should consider utilizing social media techniques to do this.

4. Network: Network with professionals in the industry you’re desiring to be a part of. What better way to learn about a profession (and career opportunities) than from the experts of a particular profession themselves? Utilize social media techniques (i.e., social networking sites, blogging, etc.) to connect with these professionals. Most of them, if not all, are eager to share their knowledge with individuals of like mind.

5. Research the company: Before going into an interview, even before you apply, you should research the company. Most companies have websites, which makes this process much easier. You have insight into their organization right at your fingertips. Why wouldn’t you want to learn more about the company? This would allow you to discover if you would enjoy working there. Learn about the company’s achievements. Mention the successes that really impressed you in the interview. Employers admire candidates who truly know about their company.

6. Ask questions: Prepare a few questions beforehand. When a candidate shows up for an interview lacking a few questions, an employer takes that as you portraying a lack of interest in the company and the job you’re applying for. Ask questions such as: Do you feel my qualities would allow me to successfully uphold this position? Could you describe a few of the tasks I would be responsible for that aren’t listed in the job description? When you come to an interview with questions, an employer becomes more interested in you.

7. Personality: (I believe this to be a no-brainer also.) I shouldn’t have to explain this quality. Don’t go into an interview with the personality of a teaspoon… Employers are eager to hire interesting people. Even if you were in the top 5% of Harvard University’s graduating class of 2010, if you possess the personality of a door knob, I’m 80% sure you WON’T get that dream job… Lighten up!

As I’ve said, a college degree is merely a formal piece of paper that cost you thousands of dollars to attain. Possessing a degree should not be a set-in-stone requirement to get a job. However, you need the qualities and skills that would allow you to perform the job successfully. Think about it. Would you hire someone with no skills and a degree from another field? Or would you hire someone with a degree from another field and a plethora of beneficial skills they could cater to the job at hand?

I have only listed a few of the skills you need to develop in order to get your foot in the door of an entry-level career. Be sure to know which skills you need to possess in order to get that dream job.

Are you in this situation? Please leave your story in the comments below.

Alan Evans is currently residing in Dallas, Texas where he works as a private piano instructor. He graduated from Jackson State University in May 2007 with a Bachelor of Music in Piano Performance. Additionally, he pursued graduate study at Southern Methodist University in Dallas and received a Master of Music in Music Education degree in May 2009.

Alan is also a Public Relations and Social Media Enthusiast seeking work that would allow him to utilize his computer and social media skills professionally. Although he did not pursue a formal education in business or communications, he feels that the intrinsic qualities developed as a result of serious music study would allow him to succeed and prosper in any career.

A typical scenario: two resumes sitting on your desk for an entry- or low-level sales position. Resume A has two years of relevant work experience, decent grades at a decent college, some previous extra-curricular activities and a contact number for their old boss. Resume B has no relevant work experience (has a few years of other work experience) with a similar college degree and grades. However, unlike Resume A, this person has a staple of miscellaneous real world experience such as traveling or other different and original accomplishments. Before you immediately call up the seemingly safer Resume A, consider why someone with accomplishments may be the better hire.

Consider how their non-relevant work experience may be relevant. The person may have yet to make a cold sales call, but do they have experience engaging a person in a difficult situation? Other accomplishments a person has could actually allow them to excel in ways someone with relevant, but limited work experience has.

Consider how their experience may benefit your workplace. Ask yourself what the individual can bring to the table. Resume B may not be used to working at a nonprofit, but the experienced gained from a college leadership position could actually add fresh new energy and working independence that your office needs. A person with accomplishments could be more driven, more engaged, and more willing to participate.

Consider how they can be a strong and innovative leader. Clearly you’re not looking for someone with trouble following direction, but a person who has some original accomplishments in their resume demonstrates an ability to work independently and efficiently. More importantly, if they are looking to break into a new field and have already proven themselves a hard worker, that individual may one day be the best choice for future promotion.

Consider which resume highlights a quick and clever person who knows how to think creatively. Yes, Resume A has experience, but does that mean they are good at facing new challenges with ease? More importantly, will they be able to add value to your company in more ways than they have already been trained in? Hiring someone who not only can face basic tasks, but can quickly and creatively face future obstacles on their own and without (many) mistakes will ultimately be the best for your business.

Short but to the point, instead of immediately hiring the person with relevant work experience, consider the applicant that lacks relevant work experience but has a staple of seemingly unrelated accomplishments. Every situation varies, but pause to consider how an outside hire could actually benefit your business.

As a career counselor, you have the opportunity to help the next generation get out of the confines of the classroom and into the professional world. Below are some qualities that students need from you to help them make that difficult transition.

Be available for individual and group sessions. One-one-one meetings may feel the most beneficial to help students think through their individual needs, but have you considered weekly group sessions? Just like writing, no idea is truly original. Group sessions encourage students to bounce ideas off each other and give them an opportunity to learn about other options students take that they might not have previously considered. Individual meetings can tunnel a person’s thought process, but group sessions can expand a student’s horizon.

Understand your students by taking notes. Encourage the student to take notes about the ideas that you raise from your sessions, but be sure you take notes as well. Your students are invariably going to be jumping around a lot, and so will their ideas. Tracking their progress from your meetings will allow you to not only remember the smaller and arguably more important details of the person, but also find a common thread. With notes, you can step back and see aspects that they can’t. What common details are they sharing but not realizing?

Know what hiring managers really want. Always be up-to-date on your research as a career counselor. The world of jobs and hiring is not static. Markets change, what companies desire changes, and so should you. Remain sensitive and adapt to the subtle changes of qualifications needed to get out of the hiring pool. Like a doctor talking to a specialist, get to know hiring managers in your area and stay updated on what’s going on outside.

Finally, play matchmaker. You’ve encouraged students, helped them think out what they want, and provided every and all informational resources under the sun. But have you helped your students more from theoretical to actual and create professional networks? The first step is always the hardest and actually developing professional networks is no exception. Contact alumni, hiring managers and create a network of informational interviews, job search contacts and internship opportunities for students to get of your office and into the working world.

During senior year of high school, I learned firsthand the problems of e-mail communication. One teacher who I thought had an ‘attitude problem’ sent an e-mail berating the yearbook staff for not showing up to meetings, wasting her time, and more than hinted that the students were irresponsible and self-centered individuals. The problem was that I wasn’t part of the yearbook staff – she had sent the e-mail to the entire student body.

I had never dealt with her directly, but after a year of watching her attitude affect the entire school, felt compelled to write an individual e-mail back explaining why I thought the e-mail was offensive. I didn’t attack her personally like she had the students, but rather felt like I was sticking up for the students she was publicly haranguing. Since I never heard back, I figured that she understood what I thought and the whole matter was settled. Several days later though, the dean asked me into her office asking “what the hell [I] had done this time.”

E-mail is a tricky thing since you can’t convey emotions, or even better, a person can interpret your words to the attitude they think you have. The dean knew me well and knew I had meant no personal attack, but the teacher had read the e-mail as a personal attack against her. Right or wrong was beyond the point – I was reminded that I should be more careful about what I write and if I had anything contentious to say, to do it in person. What was probably the best ‘real world’ advice I got in high school, I encourage everyone to take a few minutes and remind themselves about the do’s (and don’ts) of e-mailing in a school or professional environment.

Do:

• Make sure that e-mail is the best means of communication. Is the e-mail personal or raising anything that could even be seen as contentious? If yes, you shouldn’t be e-mailing.
• Get to the point right away. Don’t lead the reader through a long story to explain yourself before you get to your point. If believe you have to prove your point, then don’t e-mail.
• When asking a question, phrase the question so it’s clear you need a response. For example, “Can you explain to me why the client reacted so angrily when I couldn’t find the information?” is better than “What’s his problem?”
• Specify when you want a response. If it’s a pressing question, let them know if you need a response by today or else your email may fall into the bottom of the to-do list.
• When sending a general ‘for your information’ e-mail, summarize the topic at the top so they can better synthesize what your sharing.

Don’t:

• Make assumptions about the reader’s personal state. Just because you feel calm and in control of your emotions doesn’t mean they are. It’s very easy for an angry person to read an e-mail as angry toward them.
• Weigh an e-mail with multiple topics. If you’re sending large e-mails, what you’re asking or saying may get lost to the reader.
• Fill your e-mail with rhetorical questions. It may be easier to respond or convey your thoughts through rhetorical questions, but unless you clearly state what you think in a calm and emotionless manner via e-mail, anything can be misread.

A friend of mine who runs a nonprofit once told me how he interviews potential new employees. Whether an intern or vice president candidate, my friend would always begin the interview with this question: “Why is it better to have round manhole covers rather than square ones?” Over the years, the number of responses has ranged from correct to tearfully hilarious. But one point remains the same: by catching a nervous interview candidate off guard, my friend could observe how the person thinks, their ability to think logically and abstractly under pressure, and figure out how clever they were. Getting the question right was really of little importance, but rather to see what their mind was able to accomplish under pressure.

Now I don’t recommend conducting miserable interviews – this one particular employer loves playing devil’s advocate and any who works there should also thrive in an atmosphere of debate. However, as with anything in life, a 30-minute basic interview is hardly enough to truly determine whether a prospective employee would be a strong investment. Conducting a solid and unique interview can make it easier for an employer to better understand whether the person sitting across the table will be a good investment for the company. Here are some categories and types of questions to aide employers to find the best candidates for their company.

Decisiveness questions: Seek candidates that are able to make decisions quickly and calmly.

• Describe a situation where you were especially able to make a decision quickly. What was the outcome?
• Tell me about a situation when you had to stand up for an idea you had, or decision you made, even though it wasn’t popular with your co-workers.
• When have you dealt with a situation where the information given you was conflicting, delayed or ambiguous? What did you do to move forward with what you had?

Self-perception questions: A candidate may seem quiet and friendly, but could also turn out to be a huge source of office drama. Ask questions that determine where a candidate rates in the narcissistic scale.

• If you’re life was a news story, what would the headline say?
• Who do you admire the most and why?
• If you had six months with no obligations or financial constraints, what would you do and why?

Goal-setting questions: Does the candidate see a job as a means for the paycheck or to advance their professional career? Does the candidate demand to understand the company and entire profession in the next week or have they set reasonable individual goals?

• Give an example of a time where you used a systematic and logical process to define and complete an objective.
• Explain a time where you took the initiative to set a goal or objective for yourself that was not prompted by an employer or coworker.
• Describe a time where you took a risk professionally. What was the outcome?

Finally, if you are looking for unusual and creative interview questions to catch an interviewee off guard, here are some of my favorite “understand how they think/work” questions:

• How do I rate as an interviewer?
• How would you explain a database in three sentences to your five-year-old nephew?
• How would you design a spice rack for a blind person?
• How many gas stations would you say there are in the United States?

Hopefully you’ve noticed the new look around here. (Big round of applause to our director of web development, Jeremy Litten.) And you can look forward to more changes in the coming weeks.

Around the first week of August, we plan to unveil a “freemium” model here on Come Recommended. We’ve been talking about it for a long time — since before we launched — and it’s finally here. The good news: Everything you have access to now will remain free, forever, just as we promised. The even better news: We’re rolling out e-learning courses (yes, they will be paid, but don’t panic — they’re going to be extremely affordable) that will help candidates with the job search process and employers with the hiring process (and understanding Gen Y candidates overall).

But wait, there’s more!

If you check out our new homepage, you’ll see a screenshot of Rachel Esterline’s profile (it also links to her page). On the first of every month, we’re going to feature a new member. So sign up today if you don’t already have an account for the chance to be featured on our homepage for a whole month!

See any bugs? Please use the Feedback button on the left side of the page. Have a general help/support question? Ask it here. Have an idea to make Come Recommended even better? Feel free to e-mail me directly at heather@comerecommended.com. As always, thanks for your support.

At some point, after months of searching, a dozen interviews and more time spent on the resume than wedding vows, a person starts to give up hope. The graduate is tired of living at home, tired of having no income, and tired of being rejected. After so much job hunting at home, a person’s surroundings can start to feel suffocating.

Encourage graduates to look for volunteer positions abroad. Especially for jobs abroad, volunteering and internships can lead to full-time positions. Students who volunteer abroad are trained in not only the company and field of interest, but also have proven themselves to thrive in a strange country – two strong skills a company does not want to lose. Whether the graduate is hurting for a job or hurting to move out of the house, encourage young job seekers to turn their attention abroad.

How to get started: Most people follow any of these three paths to find a job abroad. The first and most common is company placement. Many Americans in business or NGOs find that their work does not end at the ocean’s edge. Business people go where business is good, and those working for a cause go where help is needed. Going through a multi-national company also makes attaining visas the easiest. Encourage internationally minded graduates to seek employment for companies that are well known for sending employees abroad when work is slow.

The second way is country based. In our age of globalization, many graduates look for jobs that work at an international level, but don’t consider going for the source. If they are dedicated to a cause in a specific country or even have an interest in that culture, encourage them to find out what kind of work is being done there and how they could become involved.

The final way, which is probably the easiest since it’s so broad, is interest based international work. If a graduate studied international relations, encourage them to not only apply to think tanks at home, but also in different countries. Most fields here have international job opportunities. Even journalism majors who are having trouble finding work at home should consider turning to foreign news and media organizations.

What about language differences? Job seekers shouldn’t shy away from looking at job opportunities where the country’s national language isn’t English. Whether you are pro or against globalization, the truth is that like soccer, English has become the unofficial language of the world. When it comes to the professional world, most people use and understand English.

Moving isn’t cheap, why should a person move across the world for is right now an unpaid internship? Like most problems in life, money plays a role, and I couldn’t downplay the risk. But the benefits outweigh the risks. Working abroad opens your professional network in a way that years at one company could not. Not only are you meeting people in your field, but foreigners from all sorts of different professional networks. While working in Hong Kong, I created professional contacts with lawyers, teachers, civil rights activists and writers – all who will remain in my professional pocketbook. You don’t get that kind of exposure so fast at home.

So for all those who aren’t sure where else to turn, I offer you to encourage them to look beyond and look abroad.

Throw a handful of individuals who have different backgrounds, different opinions, and different ideas of normal social behavior into a small space, with pressure, and what do you get? You get an office.

The vast majority of office grievances are minor – loud conversations, dirty dishes, and a variety of other annoying desk habits. Working at an office can begin to feel like a pressure cooker. The best way to avoid office drama is to acknowledge typical bad office habits that can drive your coworkers up the wall. Here are some tips to avoid annoying office habits.

Avoid loud conversations. Especially on the phone, it’s easy to raise your voice when you’re animated or stressed. Offices are tight and having another person’s voice interrupt your work can be frustrating.

Don’t zone out during meetings or conversations. Whether you’re in a meeting or listening to your coworker’s weekend beach trip, you should pay attention to the conversation. When others perceive you as too busy or too self involved to pay attention, they won’t listen to you when it’s your turn to speak. Be a good listener and take notes.

Avoid constant texting and emails. You may think that you are a dedicated employee – always responding to client emails quickly, and sending quick notes to coworkers to improve time efficiency, but it can come across as callous. Don’t forget your P’s and Q’s and make the effort to tear your eyes away from your phone.

Discussing non-work related topics can improve office relationships, but mind what you say. Unless you know the person well and are certain of not only your relationship but also their boundaries, avoid heated political/religious topics. Above all, avoid general, sweeping political statements – I once witnessed a lunch conversation that spiraled into one person declaring they thought sexuality was a choice and thought gay marriage was unnatural. Only thing is, two of the other people sitting at the table had told me months earlier they had gay siblings. I’ve never seen a friendly and cordial office friendship dissolve so quickly.

And finally, remember that most people don’t mean to be annoying. Part of being a good employee is exercising patience and maturity. The vast majority of people don’t mean to cause stress or annoy the office. Let the small things slide, and try to remember when someone leaves their dishes in the sink, it’s not because they think they are above doing dishes, but rather they see no problem coming back later to clean up. Approach annoying office habits kindly and come from a place of working together, not pointing out flaws, and they will often respond in kind.

Note that names have been changed.

Monday’s article has typically been my weekly article geared toward employers, but today’s article is going to have a more personal touch – and start with a story:

When I’m not writing, I work part-time at a day spa nearby as a front desk staff member. It’s a great gig, and since it’s my third front desk job, my biggest hassle is making sure I say the right name when I answer the phone. Washington, D.C. is notorious for summer heat, leaving Sundays extra quiet with most residents fleeing to cooler destinations. Even my manager, Janet, left on vacation today to enjoy a much deserved two week hiatus. I enjoy working Sunday mornings—it’s just me behind the counter and the usually hectic staff members have time to come out and chat (gossip) with me behind the desk. Imagine a very girly old-school beauty salon type of atmosphere.

But today was different. Early this afternoon, one of the massage therapists, Becky, walked up to the counter, looked at me, and handed me a piece of paper that simply said “I quit.”

About two weeks ago, due to a build-up of client complaints, my manager decided that the front desk staff should not book any appointments with Becky unless they were explicit customer requests – which meant Becky would effectively have very little work.

Even given the tension, I never even imagined the situation at hand. My manager is away on vacation, I’m alone at the front desk managing the appointments, and one of the massage therapists has just walked out. As I’m watching Becky walk out the door in what feels like slow motion, I realize I have no idea what to do – and for the first time in a long time, I am at a total loss for words. I suddenly felt very young and very naïve.

After the slow motion, my brain quickly reversed into fast forward and a hundred questions sped through my head. Do I chase after her? Convince her to at least stay for the rest of the day? Is what she’s doing even legal? What do I tell the staff if they ask where she is? I must have sat there for a minute, frozen, and hesitating to move lest it was all a dream. Finally, I did the only thing I knew what to do – I called a grown-up.

So I called Alexa, one of the five other ladies who I work with at the front desk, and told her Becky quit. She reacted pretty much the same as I had, and was equally frustrated with my responses of, “I didn’t do anything; I didn’t know what to do.” When I asked her what I should have done, she didn’t know either.

Like most people, I dislike watching a situation unfold and not helping. However, I think in a situation like that, distance is key. Getting involved would only mean putting myself in a situation where I could easily do more harm than good, let alone get caught up in a drama that really didn’t involve me.

Now all I can think to do is turn this over to you. What would you have done? Do you have a good story of a situation at work that you were totally unprepared for?