Come Recommended

Whether you’re meeting your boss or networking for a potential job, most outside of work meetings will take place over a meal. Initially, networking over a meal may feel intimidating and full of easy ways to make mistakes. However, keeping these tips in mind can turn an awkward meal to a solid and engaging meeting.

Pick somewhere you know the food. Pick somewhere where you are familiar so you don’t sit at the table staring at the menu. Use that time to get comfortable, scan the menu and still be able to focus your attention on the other person. Also, pick somewhere where you know how long to wait for the food. Your conversation will feel rushed if the food appears right away or may become uncomfortable if the food takes too long.

Be on time or early. It will make you feel more comfortable. Especially when networking, the person is taking time out of their day to meet with you, and doesn’t want to be waiting around.

Be sure to eat. The other person will probably be hungry, and it’s never fun to eat in front of another person who is just sipping water. They will feel more comfortable eating if you are. Also, you both will feel more at ease with full stomachs.

Know who is paying. If you asked the contact out to eat, then you are paying. If they asked you, chances are they will be paying, but don’t presume. When the check comes, offer to pay, and if they refuse the offer, don’t push. Just act gracious and thank them.

If you’re not paying, don’t order the most expensive item. If your momma hasn’t already told you, never order the most expensive thing on the menu, especially when you don’t know the person well.

If you’re paying, be sure to offer an expensive menu option. I imagine every person has been told to never order the most expensive dish on the menu, and your contact will be no exception. By graciously recommending an expensive dish, they will feel comfortable ordering what they want. For example, when looking over the menus: “The veal is delicious here, I’m going to get that and encourage you to, as well, if it’s something you enjoy.” The person will be impressed.

Be patient and cordial to everyone, no matter the service. Your conversation may feel comfortable and lighthearted, but when you start complaining, their smile and laughs may turn forced. Also, for some reason, I always get really nervous when the waiter comes up to take orders – I never know who goes first! When the waiter comes up, wait and let the other person go first. Unless the waiter looks right at you and asks, don’t just blurt out your order.

Don’t keep ordering drinks. Don’t get more unless your host offers a second Coke. If you’re paying, encourage the person to order another drink if they wish.

Come up with a few things to talk about before getting to business. Any interesting articles you’ve read, lighthearted stories or intelligent questions you have will demonstrate you are an engaging person and help relax the conversation.

Networking or meeting with a boss outside of the office can feel intimidating, but with practice, will get easier. Good luck!

The following is a guest post by Come Recommended member Alan Evans.

Inspiration for this post comes from a great post by Rachel M. Esterline, a highly successful young woman and recent graduate of Central Michigan University. She expressed some of the same ideas and views that I have been pondering for some time now.

Of course, as we all know, it is said that we should pursue higher education in order to secure a fulfilling career. That’s’ true. But when it comes down to those individuals desiring to secure an entry-level position in a field they really enjoy but may not necessarily be educated in (i.e., a musician seeking to become a social media coordinator for an advertising agency or marketing firm), securing a position is ten times as hard than attaining a position you were educated to fulfill. It’s a result of the age old theory implying employers should select candidates who have pursued a formal education in the profession they desire to become a part of. Pish posh…

Now don’t get me wrong, there are professions in which a specific degree is an absolute necessity (i.e., medicine, law, etc.). There are also professions that don’t require you to have a specific degree (i.e., sports, entertainment, etc.). In order for individuals to succeed in a career in which they received no formal education, they must possess certain skills… Beyonce didn’t pursue a degree in music, but she is a talented singer. She possesses the skills that allowed her to become a successful entertainer.

The moral: A college degree is just a piece of paper.

It takes certain skills to succeed in a career. Here are some of the skills required to get your foot in the door of an entry-level career:

1. Hands-on experience: (This is a no-brainer.) To be considered for an entry-level position, you have to prove that you possess what it takes to succeed in the position you’re applying for. If you have some type of previous experience, great! If you don’t, inform the employer of the skills you’ve gained from other opportunities that you feel would benefit you in this position. Go out and gain some type of experience. Whether you volunteer for a nonprofit organization or provide assistance to an expert in the field, gain some type of experience for the job.

2. Be proactive: Being proactive simply means creating a situation by causing it to happen rather than responding to it after it has already happened (or simply waiting for it to happen). Plan before you act. Learn as much as you can about a particular industry or profession beforehand. Conduct research, ask for advice from industry experts, etc. Get creative. This would improve your marketability for the position.

3. Market your product (product = self): Share with an employer why you are the perfect candidate for the job. Jump on the desk and say that the company needs you (not literally)! But you should definitely market yourself. You should consider utilizing social media techniques to do this.

4. Network: Network with professionals in the industry you’re desiring to be a part of. What better way to learn about a profession (and career opportunities) than from the experts of a particular profession themselves? Utilize social media techniques (i.e., social networking sites, blogging, etc.) to connect with these professionals. Most of them, if not all, are eager to share their knowledge with individuals of like mind.

5. Research the company: Before going into an interview, even before you apply, you should research the company. Most companies have websites, which makes this process much easier. You have insight into their organization right at your fingertips. Why wouldn’t you want to learn more about the company? This would allow you to discover if you would enjoy working there. Learn about the company’s achievements. Mention the successes that really impressed you in the interview. Employers admire candidates who truly know about their company.

6. Ask questions: Prepare a few questions beforehand. When a candidate shows up for an interview lacking a few questions, an employer takes that as you portraying a lack of interest in the company and the job you’re applying for. Ask questions such as: Do you feel my qualities would allow me to successfully uphold this position? Could you describe a few of the tasks I would be responsible for that aren’t listed in the job description? When you come to an interview with questions, an employer becomes more interested in you.

7. Personality: (I believe this to be a no-brainer also.) I shouldn’t have to explain this quality. Don’t go into an interview with the personality of a teaspoon… Employers are eager to hire interesting people. Even if you were in the top 5% of Harvard University’s graduating class of 2010, if you possess the personality of a door knob, I’m 80% sure you WON’T get that dream job… Lighten up!

As I’ve said, a college degree is merely a formal piece of paper that cost you thousands of dollars to attain. Possessing a degree should not be a set-in-stone requirement to get a job. However, you need the qualities and skills that would allow you to perform the job successfully. Think about it. Would you hire someone with no skills and a degree from another field? Or would you hire someone with a degree from another field and a plethora of beneficial skills they could cater to the job at hand?

I have only listed a few of the skills you need to develop in order to get your foot in the door of an entry-level career. Be sure to know which skills you need to possess in order to get that dream job.

Are you in this situation? Please leave your story in the comments below.

Alan Evans is currently residing in Dallas, Texas where he works as a private piano instructor. He graduated from Jackson State University in May 2007 with a Bachelor of Music in Piano Performance. Additionally, he pursued graduate study at Southern Methodist University in Dallas and received a Master of Music in Music Education degree in May 2009.

Alan is also a Public Relations and Social Media Enthusiast seeking work that would allow him to utilize his computer and social media skills professionally. Although he did not pursue a formal education in business or communications, he feels that the intrinsic qualities developed as a result of serious music study would allow him to succeed and prosper in any career.

During senior year of high school, I learned firsthand the problems of e-mail communication. One teacher who I thought had an ‘attitude problem’ sent an e-mail berating the yearbook staff for not showing up to meetings, wasting her time, and more than hinted that the students were irresponsible and self-centered individuals. The problem was that I wasn’t part of the yearbook staff – she had sent the e-mail to the entire student body.

I had never dealt with her directly, but after a year of watching her attitude affect the entire school, felt compelled to write an individual e-mail back explaining why I thought the e-mail was offensive. I didn’t attack her personally like she had the students, but rather felt like I was sticking up for the students she was publicly haranguing. Since I never heard back, I figured that she understood what I thought and the whole matter was settled. Several days later though, the dean asked me into her office asking “what the hell [I] had done this time.”

E-mail is a tricky thing since you can’t convey emotions, or even better, a person can interpret your words to the attitude they think you have. The dean knew me well and knew I had meant no personal attack, but the teacher had read the e-mail as a personal attack against her. Right or wrong was beyond the point – I was reminded that I should be more careful about what I write and if I had anything contentious to say, to do it in person. What was probably the best ‘real world’ advice I got in high school, I encourage everyone to take a few minutes and remind themselves about the do’s (and don’ts) of e-mailing in a school or professional environment.

Do:

• Make sure that e-mail is the best means of communication. Is the e-mail personal or raising anything that could even be seen as contentious? If yes, you shouldn’t be e-mailing.
• Get to the point right away. Don’t lead the reader through a long story to explain yourself before you get to your point. If believe you have to prove your point, then don’t e-mail.
• When asking a question, phrase the question so it’s clear you need a response. For example, “Can you explain to me why the client reacted so angrily when I couldn’t find the information?” is better than “What’s his problem?”
• Specify when you want a response. If it’s a pressing question, let them know if you need a response by today or else your email may fall into the bottom of the to-do list.
• When sending a general ‘for your information’ e-mail, summarize the topic at the top so they can better synthesize what your sharing.

Don’t:

• Make assumptions about the reader’s personal state. Just because you feel calm and in control of your emotions doesn’t mean they are. It’s very easy for an angry person to read an e-mail as angry toward them.
• Weigh an e-mail with multiple topics. If you’re sending large e-mails, what you’re asking or saying may get lost to the reader.
• Fill your e-mail with rhetorical questions. It may be easier to respond or convey your thoughts through rhetorical questions, but unless you clearly state what you think in a calm and emotionless manner via e-mail, anything can be misread.

Throw a handful of individuals who have different backgrounds, different opinions, and different ideas of normal social behavior into a small space, with pressure, and what do you get? You get an office.

The vast majority of office grievances are minor – loud conversations, dirty dishes, and a variety of other annoying desk habits. Working at an office can begin to feel like a pressure cooker. The best way to avoid office drama is to acknowledge typical bad office habits that can drive your coworkers up the wall. Here are some tips to avoid annoying office habits.

Avoid loud conversations. Especially on the phone, it’s easy to raise your voice when you’re animated or stressed. Offices are tight and having another person’s voice interrupt your work can be frustrating.

Don’t zone out during meetings or conversations. Whether you’re in a meeting or listening to your coworker’s weekend beach trip, you should pay attention to the conversation. When others perceive you as too busy or too self involved to pay attention, they won’t listen to you when it’s your turn to speak. Be a good listener and take notes.

Avoid constant texting and emails. You may think that you are a dedicated employee – always responding to client emails quickly, and sending quick notes to coworkers to improve time efficiency, but it can come across as callous. Don’t forget your P’s and Q’s and make the effort to tear your eyes away from your phone.

Discussing non-work related topics can improve office relationships, but mind what you say. Unless you know the person well and are certain of not only your relationship but also their boundaries, avoid heated political/religious topics. Above all, avoid general, sweeping political statements – I once witnessed a lunch conversation that spiraled into one person declaring they thought sexuality was a choice and thought gay marriage was unnatural. Only thing is, two of the other people sitting at the table had told me months earlier they had gay siblings. I’ve never seen a friendly and cordial office friendship dissolve so quickly.

And finally, remember that most people don’t mean to be annoying. Part of being a good employee is exercising patience and maturity. The vast majority of people don’t mean to cause stress or annoy the office. Let the small things slide, and try to remember when someone leaves their dishes in the sink, it’s not because they think they are above doing dishes, but rather they see no problem coming back later to clean up. Approach annoying office habits kindly and come from a place of working together, not pointing out flaws, and they will often respond in kind.

Note that names have been changed.

Monday’s article has typically been my weekly article geared toward employers, but today’s article is going to have a more personal touch – and start with a story:

When I’m not writing, I work part-time at a day spa nearby as a front desk staff member. It’s a great gig, and since it’s my third front desk job, my biggest hassle is making sure I say the right name when I answer the phone. Washington, D.C. is notorious for summer heat, leaving Sundays extra quiet with most residents fleeing to cooler destinations. Even my manager, Janet, left on vacation today to enjoy a much deserved two week hiatus. I enjoy working Sunday mornings—it’s just me behind the counter and the usually hectic staff members have time to come out and chat (gossip) with me behind the desk. Imagine a very girly old-school beauty salon type of atmosphere.

But today was different. Early this afternoon, one of the massage therapists, Becky, walked up to the counter, looked at me, and handed me a piece of paper that simply said “I quit.”

About two weeks ago, due to a build-up of client complaints, my manager decided that the front desk staff should not book any appointments with Becky unless they were explicit customer requests – which meant Becky would effectively have very little work.

Even given the tension, I never even imagined the situation at hand. My manager is away on vacation, I’m alone at the front desk managing the appointments, and one of the massage therapists has just walked out. As I’m watching Becky walk out the door in what feels like slow motion, I realize I have no idea what to do – and for the first time in a long time, I am at a total loss for words. I suddenly felt very young and very naïve.

After the slow motion, my brain quickly reversed into fast forward and a hundred questions sped through my head. Do I chase after her? Convince her to at least stay for the rest of the day? Is what she’s doing even legal? What do I tell the staff if they ask where she is? I must have sat there for a minute, frozen, and hesitating to move lest it was all a dream. Finally, I did the only thing I knew what to do – I called a grown-up.

So I called Alexa, one of the five other ladies who I work with at the front desk, and told her Becky quit. She reacted pretty much the same as I had, and was equally frustrated with my responses of, “I didn’t do anything; I didn’t know what to do.” When I asked her what I should have done, she didn’t know either.

Like most people, I dislike watching a situation unfold and not helping. However, I think in a situation like that, distance is key. Getting involved would only mean putting myself in a situation where I could easily do more harm than good, let alone get caught up in a drama that really didn’t involve me.

Now all I can think to do is turn this over to you. What would you have done? Do you have a good story of a situation at work that you were totally unprepared for?

Like so many graduates, the hardest step is getting your foot inside an employer’s door. You know you’re capable, a hard worker, and would impress any company in an interview. Problem is, no one is responding to your letters. That gaping silence has left me at times wondering, when I press the ‘send’ button, if my resume just ends up in this black hole and actually never gets read. That silence can also mess with your head and leave you wondering if you have the right qualifications to land a job.

If you’re sending out resumes left and right but no one is replying, don’t stress yet. It may be your resume. Take the time to think critically about your resume and make sure it presents you in an eye-grabbing manner.

First, what is your resume format? Are you using standard indentation, Times New Roman 12-point font and listing your achievements in bullets? That may feel professional, but you’re not catching any eyes. Engage your reader and review your design. Change up your format and font, while maintaining professional organization and style. With the Internet, the whole job process may feel like machine work, but the person reading your credentials is still human. A person can’t help but spend a bit more attention reading a resume that has original formatting and eye catching fonts.

Also, get rid of that objective statement. I never understood the point of an objective statement such as “to find a job, develop professional skills, and learn about the field [of interest]”. Isn’t that what we all want?

Instead of wasting the precious space with the obvious objective statement, use those few lines to further sell yourself. Insert a brief summary explaining to the reader why they should be interested in you. Especially if you lack obvious relevant work experience, make an argument for why the reader should want you. Avoid generic statements such as “I am a hard worker and quick learner” – and rather, show passion for the prospective job or highlight how a seemingly irrelevant aspect of your resume is actually a vital qualification.

While on the topic of generic, keep first person tone out of your resume. Make sure there are no “I”s anywhere on that paper. You’re presenting an argument in bullet points and topic sentences, so avoid any subjective tone first person brings.

How many bullet points are you using? If your resume is simply a job title, and a list of bullet points, then you’re not selling yourself! Emphasize what you’ve accomplished, and what you’re capable of. Summarize your position in a short paragraph to explain the company, your position and use bullet points to highlight your key responsibilities and leadership roles.

And finally, don’t give up hope. A resume is not set in stone. Play around with different ideas and if you’re brave enough, follow-up on dead ends and see if they will give you any feedback on what they are looking for.

Next week I’m handing in my first two week notice. Even though the letter should be no surprise (the job is a summer gig), and I’m handing it in a few weeks early to help my manager start thinking about a replacement, I’m still nervous. No manager ever reacts happily when someone they’ve trained is leaving. I’d also love to go back next summer and want to make sure I don’t burn any bridges. Here are some do’s and don’ts for handing in that two week notice.

Do:

• Give your boss enough warning. Two weeks is the bare minimum, and in reality, not enough time to find a replacement. Presuming that handing in your resignation would not put any of your work in jeopardy, the more notice the better.
• Specify your last day of work. Having everything in writing helps out your boss figure out their plan.
• If you’re leaving for reasons outside your control, specify. If you’re heading back to school and have to quit, put it in your letter. It can ease any bad blood and your company record will show you left for positive reasons, not because you didn’t do well at the company.
• Thank your boss for the opportunity. It’s very important to thank your boss for the job. Briefly summarize what you have learned and gained from the experience. Always remember to keep those connections open!
• Specify how you want your last check sent. To avoid any confusion, specify whether you will be coming in to pick up the last check or if you want it sent to you address.

Don’t:

• Criticize the company or employees. However tempting it may feel to get the last word, chiding the company won’t accomplish anything. Rather, the information will probably end up getting stored in your employee folder which could resurface later down the road, even when applying to other jobs.
• Ignore company policy on resignation. Many companies have specific policies and guidelines on the necessary steps to quit. If you don’t follow them properly you could lose any entitlements you may have or even your last paycheck.
• Share too much information on your future plans. If you want a different job, great, just don’t put it in any formal letter.
• Talk about money. If you’re leaving because you were offered a higher paying job or the current job you hold isn’t giving a high enough salary, keep it out of the letter. If they want to keep you badly enough, they’ll try to bribe you with a raise.

And always, before you go, ask for that letter of recommendation! Getting one while you’re still in contact with your boss is vital, since later down the line you may not be able to connect again. Good luck!

Getting along with your boss can feel daunting – you want to be both impressive without looking like a show off, friendly without looking disrespectful, and engaged without being in their way. At times, you will make mistakes – perhaps speaking out of turn during a client meeting, trying to show your boss you’re engaged and ambitious only ends up making their day more difficult (not that I can speak from experience).

Just remember, bosses really want employees who do their jobs well and make their lives easier. Here are some tips:

1. Bosses want to hear you volunteer for tasks. Especially when you start at a job, employers want to see you raise your hand and offer to help. Even after reading through resumes, interviews, and references, it’s common knowledge that hiring someone is still taking a risk: they don’t really know how you will perform day-to-day. By taking initiative (without going overboard, bosses can smell a suck up), your boss can rest assured that you can pick up the responsibility.
2. Bosses want to hear what you’re working on and when you’ve finished. On top of their larger responsibilities, your boss has other people to manage. When you briefly check in to let them know you’re working and completing set tasks, you make your boss’ day easier and become a dependable resource.
3. Bosses want to hear about bad news before it gets worse. Even if you’ve messed up, but are pretty sure about how to fix it, check in with your boss first. They want to be aware of what’s happening, and appreciate you wanting the ‘ok’ about how to proceed. It allows them to know you won’t accidentally do anything to make matters worse, and that you care about fixing the situation.
4. Bosses want to hear you’re learning. After you’ve finished a project, tell your boss not only what you did, but what you learned from it. Hiring someone is an investment: you train them, help them and hope one day they can become a valuable and influential force in your company. Knowing you’re learning allows your boss to see they made a good investment.
5. Bosses want to hear informed, insightful questions. When you ask your boss an informed and insightful question, it shows you care about their opinion and at the same time that you better understand your job.

Who have you turned to during your job search? Your family? Your best friend’s parents? Your teachers? That’s all well and good – all these people are strong resources when looking for a job, but you may be missing out on a lot more opportunities than you realized.

Consider the power of your weak social ties (i.e., those who you aren’t related to or very close with). Old high school classmates, friends of your previous employer, even old volunteer colleagues. All of those who fall under the category of distant acquaintances – these people are the ones who may very well be offering you your next job.

Family members and friends are great support, but not necessarily great job sources. Sure they are easy to approach for help, but the numbers are small and your opportunities are limited to their immediate resources. Especially if you’re interested in a different career, these strong social ties are pretty limited.

Searching for jobs without any networking is plausible, but daunting. Thanks to the Internet, it’s possible for job seekers to hit the Google button and search for posted jobs without any network ties. However, with hundreds of other people doing the exact same thing, the likelihood of actually landing the job borders on near-mythical standards.

What’s so special about weak social ties? While initially more difficult to maneuver, your weak social connections provide both a  real person to contact about jobs, while at the same time, allows you to branch out of your immediate social circle to find greater employment opportunities.

Thanks to social networking groups like Come Recommended, linking up with these weak social ties has never been easier. Keep in touch with infrequent, brief, e-mails. There are so many different jobs out that that you may not have even heard of, and sending out brief letters with your qualifications and job goals is a way to send a line out there to check if anything bites. Networking doesn’t end when your friends or family don’t produce job leads, get out and create a greater job search network with any and everyone you can.

We all have our horror stories. My first boss had a questionably legal live camera feed from the store I was working at go directly to her home so she could watch us at all times and make sure we were cleaning and not slacking off during quiet moments. Having a bad boss makes our next job a whole lot easier, and teaches us how to survive in a toxic workplace. That doesn’t make it easy though. Here are some common behaviors of bad bosses and how to deal with them.

Problem: Your boss doesn’t listen. They not only ignore your input, disregard your questions, or don’t listen to your requests, they somehow manage to blame you when things you previously inquired about go wrong.

Solution: Two options. One, if more than one of you have the same problem, approach your boss together. That way, they are more likely to listen to you if more than a few people are standing in the room. Second, put things down in writing – if they down the road say that you never had a certain conversation, you can go back to e-mails and highlight that you did indeed ask for that weekend off.

Problem: Your boss is insufferably authoritarian. No matter how hard you work, or how great the results are, your boss won’t stop breathing down your neck. Everything is micromanaged, and everything your boss says goes. There is no room for flexibility.

Solution: This one is trickier because either party could be at fault. Maybe the employee isn’t working in a way the boss sees fit, and maybe the employer doesn’t know when to let go. In either case, the best solution is to talk to your employer. Tell them you want to get more involved with the job, show initiative toward your work and ask your boss how and what you could do to be in charge of more responsibilities. In either case, your boss has an opportunity to tell you what you could be doing wrong to force micromanagement, or they give you more responsibility and (hopefully) freedom.

Problem: On the other side of the spectrum, your boss can’t make a decision for their life. Projects are on hold, your work is in jeopardy, and your boss can’t seem to come up with a way to move forward.

Solution: Try offering your own solutions. The reasons for being indecisive are varied, and by giving your boss a way out, not only do you show initiative, but you can go back and finish your job.

Problem: Every week, your boss manages to be mad at someone in the office. There’s always drama, and someone’s in trouble.

Solution: Recognize that your boss is capable of blaming anyone for anything. When it’s your turn, take comfort in the fact that it will pass over and someone will be the victim next week. Also, since everyone in the office has felt the unnecessary wrath of the boss, it may be time to get HR involved.

Problem: And finally, the most typical and frustrating situation of them all, your boss is always taking credit for your work. What’s the point of making any effort if you aren’t going to be recognized and have someone else enjoy the lime light?

Solution: This type of bad boss behavior is probably one of the most morale-crushing traits in a toxic workplace. Hopefully your boss is simply neglecting to realize what they are doing. Start by submitting all your ideas by e-mail, and when they fail to recognize you, have a friendly and frank discussion with your boss by showing them actual written proof that these were your original ideas. Rational thinking doesn’t always work well on irrational people, and the end result can be mixed depending on the person. Get someone else involved to help keep the conversation from getting too defensive.

What other problems have you encountered? What solutions did you come up with?